Monday, May 31, 2010

"Spill Baby, Spill!"




A decade of disdain for government regulation over offshore oil drilling and a complete disregard of all scientific fact allowed this disaster to happen.

"Responding to the accusations that agency scientists were being silenced, Ms. Barkoff added, “Under the previous administration, there was a pattern of suppressing science in decisions, and we are working very hard to change the culture and empower scientists in the Department of the Interior."


BP (Bush Petroleum) is not working in the best interest of the United States and the residents of the Gulf of Mexico.

BP does not want to stop the flow of oil in the Gulf. They want to CAPTURE the flow of oil so they can still profit from this.

They are willing to let this gusher of oil and dispersant continue to flow into the Gulf, killing flora and fauna, destroying wetlands, wiping out people's traditional livelihoods, until August or beyond so they can drill a relief well that will stop the flow into the Gulf but still allow them to make a profit.

Imagine this summer.

The entire Gulf of Mexico is a huge, swirling, reservoir of raw crude oil, bubbling with methane gas, littered with dead, bloated sea critters.

A lightning strike from a summer thunderstorm ignites the oil.

Now the entire Gulf of Mexico is a flaming cauldron of death and pollution.

We just entered hurricane season.

Try, if you can, to imagine a flaming, oily, polluted ocean being churned up and hurled ashore by 200 mph winds in crashing, colossal, fiery waves.

Imagine this monster...



But with the clouds burning black from flaming crude oil.

Imagine this picture...



...but with the water burning and belching black petroleum pollutants into the atmosphere.

Obama needs to pull the plug on BP and the MMS.

He needs to call together a task force of the best SCIENTIFIC experts from other oil companies, other countries, every university to brainstorm innovative solutions to stop this shit. Fuck profits! Fuck BP's investment. Fuck gas prices. STOP THE FUCKING LEAK! NOW!

When you see this logo...



...don't stop and don't buy.

When you see this logo...



Remember that they are the ones responsible for this oily, flaming, unregulated environmental mess.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

"I Need You To Call Me"

That was the text message I recieved from my daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis, on my way home from work tonight.

I drive a jeep with a standard transmission and don't have a Borg/Blue Tooth implant so I need both hands to drive. I figured I'd call her back after I got home and settled.

Which I did.

HER: "Oh. I don't need to talk to you anymore. I took care of it."

ME: "So, what happened?"

Turns out she was in her first car accident. In her mom's brand new car. With her boyfriend behind the wheel.

No one was hurt. The damage was minimal. But still.

They had already parked at the restaurant when a woman who was yacking on her fucking cell phone and not paying any goddamned attention backed into them as she was pulling out.

GTO's mom is, well...unpredictable. GTO was terrified and didn't know what to do. She was trying to contact me for advice and I wasn't available.

In my absence, she was forced to evaluate the situation and decide what to do.

She decided that the best course of action was to immediately go to her mother and tell her exactly what happened.

She was so terrified she was shaking. But she did it. And her mother (who had apparently been replaced by an inter-dimensional clone from an alternate reality) shrugged it off and took it in stride instead of freaking the fuck out.

My daughter faced a major crisis, rationally analyzed her available courses of action and the potential ramifications of each one and reached a conclusion.

She handled it on her own and she reached the right decision.

I'm calling this a parenting WIN!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

All Hail Kamla



Hey peoples. Sorry for being awayy so long but things have been rough, rough. So much has happened in the last few weeks I don't know where to start!

First, I must congratulate the first female Prime Minister of T&T, and only the second in CARICOM, Kamla Persad Bissessar, for her victory yesterday at the polls.

Wuhloss, Patrick Manning gift wrap his government and hand it to her on a platter. I guess now that he no longer has to worry about matters of state Manning can concentrate on his theological career. Or was he planning on driving bus....I really can't recall....

Not to take away from Kamla's victory but I have to say something about what's happening in Jamaica with this Dudus Coke issue. Prime Minister Bruce Golding needs to help clean up that mess and then resign quietly. For real.

I can't condemn the people who're dying for Dudus because their way of perceiving the world is far different from mine. The average Bajan could never understand depending on a drug don for daily survival and becoming so indebted to him we would lay down our lives for him.

I pray some resolution is quickly achieved in this tragedy before more people are killed.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Devin(e)


I wrote down the artists name as 'Devin' - can I find a link now? Can i buggery.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bush, Cheney & Halliburton To Blame For Gulf Oil Spill


FEDERAL REGULATORS LET BP AVOID FILING BLOWOUT PLAN FOR GULF OIL RIG

By The Associated Press
May 06, 2010, 12:52PM

"Petrochemical giant BP didn't file a plan to specifically handle a major oil spill from an uncontrolled blowout at its Deepwater Horizon project because the federal agency that regulates offshore rigs changed its rules two years ago [when Bush was President] to exempt certain projects in the central Gulf region, according to an Associated Press review of official records

The Minerals Management Service, an arm of the Interior Department known for its cozy relationship with major oil companies, says it issued the rule relief because some of the industrywide mandates weren't practical for all of the exploratory and production projects operating in the Gulf region.

The blowout rule, the fact that it was lifted in April 2008 [when Bush was President] for rigs that didn't fit at least one of five conditions, and confusion about whether the BP Deepwater Horizon project was covered by the regulation, caught the attention of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Deepwater Horizon disaster is not the first time MMS has been criticized as being too close to the oil industry.

In 2008 [when Bush was President], the Interior Department took disciplinary action against eight MMS employees who accepted lavish gifts, partied and -- in some cases -- had sex with employees from the energy companies they regulated. An investigation cited a "culture of substance abuse and promiscuity" involving employees in the agency's Denver office.

MMS workers were given upgraded ethics training."




Not enough? Need more?

DEEPWATER HORIZON'S HISTORY OF ERROR AND MALFUNCTION

By Bridget Huber on April 30, 2010

"As the Deepwater Horizon oil rig continues to spew 210,000 barrels of oil a day into the Gulf of Mexico, the Associated Press takes a look at the rig’s history. Its nine years in operation [most of which when Bush was President] have seen many smaller spills and fires caused by human error, malfunctioning equipment and weather.

The article does not attempt to determine what caused the rig to explode and sink last week, killing 11 workers. But it details a number of problems, including a 2005 fire [when Bush was President] caused when a worker forgot he was refilling a crane fuel tank, spilling diesel fuel that then ignited. Bad weather and human error caused it to float off course in 2003 [when Bush was President] and spill 944 barrels of oil.

The rig, which drilled the world’s deepest offshore well, also collided with a towing vessel in 2003 [when Bush was President] and sustained $95,000 in damage to its hull, which, if not properly repaired could have compromised its structural integrity or weakened the structure supporting its drilling apparatus, the AP reports."




Still not convinced? Still trying to blame President Obama for Bush's complete and total lack of oversight of Halliburton and the rest of their oil buddies? You're killin' me! I can't take complete responsibility for your education. I got shit to do.

So I'll give you this one last link and I'm done.

RIG HAD HISTORY OF SPILLS, FIRES BEFORE BIG 1

FRANK JORDANS, Associated Press Writers
GARANCE BURKEGARANCE BURKE, Associated Press Writers

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Oil services contractor Halliburton Inc. said in a statement Friday that workers had finished cementing the well's pipes 20 hours before the rig went up in flames. Halliburton is named as a defendant in most of the more than two dozen lawsuits filed by Gulf Coast people and businesses claiming the oil spill could ruin them financially. Without elaborating, one lawsuit filed by an injured technician on the rig claims that Halliburton improperly performed its job in cementing the well, "increasing the pressure at the well and contributing to the fire, explosion and resulting oil spill."




Do you still not fucking get it?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Cholesterol Cookies

This is the perfect late night I DON'T GIVE A FUCK snack.

Start with a leftover, Pillsbury Homestyle Biscuit.



Then slather that motherfucker with some real butter.





Sprinkle that with some diced bacon.



Garnish that with some shredded cheese.



Put that under the broiler until it's golden brown.



Wash it all down with some Booker's 130 Proof Small Batch Bourbon that your newest BFF was kind enough to provide.




It's called living a fearless life with both balls swinging.

Fuck you Dr. Oz!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Simply Beautiful!


There's something about this tattoo I absolutely love - it was a tattooist submission from Karla Hansen, who writes:

"Hi my name is Karla and I am a tattoo artist from Auckland, New Zealand, I recently did this tattoo on my husband Alex. It's a Chris Sanders design, the director/art director/character designer for movies sucjh as "Lilo and Stitch" and "How to train your Dragon" hope you and your followers like!!"

Thanks Karla!

nb. 'How To Train Your Dragon' is awesome. Pixar-level awesome.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Ferrous Hominid Redux




Yesterday was a fun day.

My daughter, young Galadriel Tanqueray Onassis, came over for bruch which consisted of biscuits & gravy, roasted potatoes and sausage patties.

While we feasted on this delicious repast, we watched the first Iron Man.

All of this was the lead up to seeing Iron Man 2 in IMAX at the AMC Independence Commons where we were joined by our friends Average Jane and The Saders.

For me, the movie certainly lived up to the hype. It has me really looking forward to Thor, Captain America in 2011 and The Avengers in 2012.

It's looking more and more like the impetus for the Avengers coming together will be to battle The Hulk who is being controlled by Thor's arch nemisis Loki.

My biggest concern about The Avengers movie is that they are going to have to shoehorn a lot big name stars playing bigger than life, pivotal roles into a story that gives everyone enough screen time without compromising the plot and keep the whole package under 3 hours.

The idea of The Hulk being the main "villain" conjurs the spectre of Edward Norton returning to the Marvel franchise. Internet rumors from 2008 indicated that Norton and the studio were in such conflict over the movie that it almost didn't get released.

There are those that would argue that that wouldn't have been such a bad thing, but I'm not in that camp. I liked The Incredible Hulk. It was certainly an improvement over Ang Lee's Hulk.

But I digress.

After rewatching The Incredible Hulk last night I realized that just because The Hulk will be in The Avengers, that doesn't mean anyone will have to deal with that-very-talented-but-pain-in-the-ass Edward Norton.

Edward Norton played Bruce Banner, not The Hulk. The Hulk was complete CGI. I don't think Norton even did any motion capture work as The Hulk.

So as long as The Hulk stays angry and doesn't go back to Bruce Banner, the creative oyster that needs to produce the pearl called The Avengers should be able do so without the terminally abrasive grain of sand that is Edward Norton.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Social Media Gurus

Chris Pirillo is a Social Media Guru.

Here is a clip where he spends over 7 minutes explaining the "importance" of Social Media without conveying any actual information.



Replay it again. He doesn't actually say anything. He skirts around the edges of vague concepts without ever delving into any specifics.

Companies are suckered into paying people like this for "consulting".

There is virtually NO DIFFERENCE between what Social Media gurus like Chris Pirillo offers and what this guy offers.



Here is a YouTube video that will save you thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars in usless consulting fees and hours upon hours of boring meetings.



There is more real, actual, useful information contained in that one YouTube video than you will ever get from a Social Media consultant.

Don't be baffled by the bullshit. It's not that complicated.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I'm A Horrible, Horrible Person

Every day, as I leave my office for the parking garage, I pass by the guard desk.

Working the desk at that time of day is a sweet, old, woman who makes it her mission to tell everyone walking by "Good night. Have a nice evening." Or some variation on that.

What makes me a horrible person is that I FUCKING HATE THAT!

It's the end of the day. I just want to get to my jeep and go home. I've had forced social interactions all day long. It's called "work". Now, all I want is to end it all and retreat to my Fortress of Solitude.

But first I have to pass the social bully at the guard desk.

The woman who is going to assault me with her well wishes.

The uniformed guard who is going to EXPECT me to acknowledge her unwanted comment with some sort of reciprocal nicety. Maybe even make EYE CONTACT!

Fuck!

Everyday I feel like I'm being aurally raped by unwanted good wishes!

I don't want to respond to her, but I generally do.

I may be an asshole, but I'm not a prick.

What's the difference, you ask?

About 2 inches.

Thanks for playing.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Agnostic Energy Grid


I want President Obama to treat the British Petroleum oil platform disaster in the Gulf of Mexico the same way Dubya treated 9/11.

This should be a game changer. I want to see an effort on the par of the Manhattan Project or Apollo Project to pry America's lip from the petroleum tit.

Let me start by defining the term "agnostic" for the purposes of this discussion.

It has NOTHING TO DO with religion.

"A system agnostic computing technology (or person, in the case of system administrators and programmers) is one that does not depend entirely on the ideology of another technology, as in "OS agnostic" or "editor agnostic."


What that means for this post is that agnostic electricity is electricity no matter how or where it was generated.

America doesn't have a national power grid. We have these little local power grids controlled by local Public Utility Commissions who contract with power generating companies to generate and distribute power within their jurisdiction. It is an incredibly fragmented system.

There is a better way.

What we need is a national, agnostic power grid that will accept input from any source at a standard, pro-rated, kilowatt-based compensation, feed that electricity into the grid where it is distributed as needed at a standard, pro-rated, kilowatt-based pricing system.

There are so many ways to generate electricity that with a distributed generation strategy and a unified grid, we can have all the power we need without depending on fossil fuels.

WIND POWER

There are parts of the United States that are typically very windy. The Great Plains. Coastal areas. By building wind farms in those areas, they can feed into the national power grid.

TIDAL POWER

If you've ever been to the beach, you know that the tides rise and fall. You can harness this energy through buoys attached to turbines that can capture energy no matter which way the water is moving. Buoy farms can feed into the national power grid.

GEO-THERMAL ELECTRICITY

"The heat from the earth's own molten core can be converted into electricity. This core consists primarily of extremely high temperature liquid rock known as magma. This "geothermal" heat circulates within the rock or is transferred to underground reservoirs of water, which also circulate under the earth's crust. Because of the near limitless ability of the earth to produce magma, and the continuous transfer of heat between subsurface rock and water, geothermal energy is considered a renewable resource."

Yellowstone is the Saudi Arabia of geo-thermal power. Yellowstone can feed into the national power grid.

SOLAR ELECTRIC POWER

Sunlight can be converted into electricity using solar cells. This is particularly effective in places like Arizona, New Mexico and Death Valley. Solar electric farms can feed into the national power grid.

NEXT GEN NUCLEAR POWER

We've been doing nuclear power wrong. We've been building nuclear plants the same way we used to build huge, coal-fired plants designed to generate power for the largest possible geographical area.

The U.S. Navy has been doing nuclear power right for decades Small, safe, compact nuclear power plants designed to power aircraft carriers and submarines that are the equivalent of medium size cities.

That's the new direction for nuclear. Small, affordable, Naval-style, plug and play nuclear power plants can feed into the national power grid.

FUEL CELLS

A fuel cell combines hydrogen with oxygen to produce electricity and the only byproduct is water. Imagine a refrigerator size fuel cell in your basement. You feed it hydrogen and oxygen, it produces electricity and water. It can supply all the electricity your home needs. Produce more than you need and you can sell the surplus to the grid. Combine your fuel cell with solar electric, wind, tidal, geo-thermal (depending on where you live) and you can have all the power you need and maybe even turn a profit.

With a national, agnostic power grid, we can be independent of fossil fuel and spur a new domestic energy market.

If the winds in New England are strong, they can be making a profit by supplying power to Oregon when it's cloudy.

When it's 120 degrees in Death Valley, they can be making a profit by supplying power to New England if the winds are calm.

If the fuel cell in my basement is generating more power than I need because I insulated my attic, I can make a profit by supplying power to my neighbor because he's inefficient.

Just because I live in Independence, MO, there is no technological reason why I can't be harvesting energy from New England, Death Valley and Florida and paying a fair, pro-rated price per kilowatt.

This national energy grid approach also eliminates the scenario where a local tornado knocks out a transformer and thousands are left without power for days.

Power is just rerouted from places that still have power. Electricity, like water, would find it's own level and automatically fill any gaps.

Nothing I've just described requires any new technology. Except maybe a USB-like interface to link the isolated energy infrastructures into a unified grid. That's nothing.

We can do this if we want to.