Yeah, We Got Him

So as you may have heard, President Obama managed to do in just 2 years what President Bush failed to do in 8. He got bin Laden.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Saladin was right. It means nothing and everything.

It means nothing because bin Laden wasn't really in charge of anything or leading anyone. Al Qaeda isn't a monolithic organization with bin Laden at the top making plans and issuing directives. It's more like a franchised operation with each cell doing it's own thing.

Actually, even that is probably giving them too much credit. It's more like a Justin Bieber Fan Club. Anybody who wants to start a chapter can do so and there isn't really any oversight, control or even unity of purpose.

So killing bin Laden has no impact on al Qaeda.

But it also means everything because killing bin Laden is a symbolic end to the 9/11 saga. If 9/11 was Pearl Harbor, killing bin Laden was Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Bin Laden started it, we tracked him down and finished it.

It also means everything because it effectively closes the door on "old school terrorism". For over 20 years, radicals like bin Laden have sought out and corrupted disaffected Muslim youths by manipulating their faith in Islam and promising them martyrdom for killing infidels.

That tactic has completely failed. The terrorists have not accomplished a single one of their goals and people willing to shove a can of C4 up their ass are becoming fewer and farther between. Especially in the wake of the so called Arab Spring.

The youngest generation of Muslim youth are saying "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just wait a fucking minute. You are offering me a better life by killing myself? I think I'd rather have a better life like the Egyptians by waving signs and yelling until the dictator leaves. Thanks, but no thanks! You can shove that C4 up your own ass!"

The Muslim world is changing and they would much rather have peace and prosperity in this world than 72 virgins in the next.


REPUBLICAN HYPOCRISY
Obama had barely been sworn in as President before Republicans started telling everyone "Don't blame the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan on Bush! Obama is Commander in Chief now! The Buck Stops With Him! These are his wars now!"

But as soon as it was announced that Obama, as Commander in Chief, had ordered Seal Team Six to cross into Pakistan, secure bin Laden's compound and that Obama had personally given the authorization to take bin Laden out, those same Republicans started crying FOUL! "Obama can't take credit for getting bin Laden! Bush did that! He started it so he gets the credit for killing bin Laden!"

You can't have it both ways, fuckwads! Suck it up and swallow it! Bush failed to get bin Laden.. Obama didn't. Obama got the job done!


NOT EXACTLY A CAVE MAN
The popular narrative has been that bin Laden was "on the run" and cowering in caves along the rugged Afghanistan/Pakistan border, unable to poke his turban-wrapped head out for even a minute lest a Predator Drone spot him and ass-rape him with a couple of Hellfire missiles!

But that turned out not to be the case. He was hiding in plain site, in a house better than yours, and living cushy comfort! I'll let David Graham of The Daily Beast describe it:

"The location came as a surprise to many: Abbottabad is the center of Pakistan’s military training, and it’s just over 30 miles from Islamabad, the nation’s capital, as the crow flies: at first glance, an unlikely location for a wanted fugitive. But the compound where bin Laden was found offered some key clues as to who might be inhabiting it.

It was largest home around, and its inhabitants reportedly kept to themselves and kept the house incredibly well fortified. American intelligence officials were shocked to discover the compound’s elaborate security. Photos reveal a drab, boxy white house, but one surrounded by high walls, ranging from 12 to 18 feet tall and topped with barbed wire. The mansion was valued at around $1 million, but had no telephone or Internet service—although it did have a large satellite dish. Besides the building itself, a large perimeter was marked off with high walls. In one part of the yard, residents reportedly burned their trash, presumably to avoid detection, while neighbors set theirs out for curbside collection.

The mansion, now ravaged and partly burnt, is relatively new, having been built in 2005. Despite the precautions the residents had taken, its size immediately led U.S. officials to conclude that it had been built as a haven for a high-profile target—perhaps specifically for bin Laden himself. “We were shocked by what we saw: an extraordinarily unique compound, that sits on a large plot of land, relatively secluded, and which is eight times larger than other homes in area," one official told Yahoo News.

There are around a dozen homes nearby, but it was by far the largest and tallest, with its three stories sticking up for some distance amid a landscape of wheat and vegetable fields. None of its windows faced the street, and there was even a privacy wall around a terrace.


In addition to its size, the compound’s proximity to the Pakistan Military Academy has raised eyebrows. The two complexes are just a couple miles apart, and CNN reported that just a week ago Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, chief of the Pakistani Army, had told graduating cadets that the “back of terrorism” in the country had been broken. It’s a stunning juxtaposition—analogous to one of America’s most wanted criminals hiding out minutes from West Point."

So while Americans were cowering in fear of the boogieman bin Laden, he was living in safety, comfort and luxury under the apparent protection of three regiments of the Pakistan Army.


SEAL TEAM SIX
But bin Laden's life of luxury ended as he was abruptly introduced to Seal Team Six.

"The members of Team 6 are all "black" operatives. They exist outside military protocol, engage in operations that are at the highest level of classification and often outside the boundaries of international law. To maintain plausible deniability in case they are caught, records of black operations are rarely, if ever, kept."

Remember Christian Bale's Batman in "The Dark Knight"? Seal Team Six is like a whole team of Batmans, armed to the teeth with the best firepower the American Military Industrial Complex can manufacture and with no silly code against killing.

And everyone of them carries a wallet just like this.



Apparently the technique they used to take out bin Laden was the venerable "double tap".

"One of the dead was Osama bin Laden, done in by a double tap -- boom, boom -- to the left side of his face."

Here, I'll let Mark Zuckerberg explain.



My big question is, which one of those bad motherfuckers stared down the barrel of his assault rifle and double-tapped bin Laden? Trot that bad boy out! Let's have a parade and pin a medal on him! He'll be the biggest hero since Audie Murphy!


2012
I honestly don't see much point in even having an election in 2012. The economy is on the mend, everyone I know who used to be out of work has a job again. And bin Laden is dead. That's really the only campaign ad Obama will need.

"Yo, Republicans, I'm really happy for you and Ima let you finish, but, I got bin Laden."

Game over.

Although you wouldn't think it's even possible, all the Republicans can do is embarrass themselves even further. They already look small, inconsequential, petulant and whiny. Every time they open their mouths they just diminish themselves further.

They should just give up and get used to Obama serving 2 full terms.