Sometimes, I Bore Myself

It started with a comment thread over at my friend Christian's Facebook page.

It inspired me to spend several hours last night crafting a post for this blog on the hypocritical shenanigans in this election cycle.

But after finishing the post, I decided not to publish right away. I wanted to sleep on it, let it stew in it's own juices, see how it looked in the morning.

GOOD FUCKING CALL!

The gist of the post was, all of these Tea Bagging/Birther/Tenther/fucktards who scream about wanting smaller government only want small government when it comes to "MY MONEY!" They don't want this "Socialist/Obama/Pelosi/Job Killing/Blahblahblah" Big Gummint using "MY MONEY!" to help their fellow Americans. Fuck 'em!

But they are ALL ABOUT Big Gummint when it comes to sending our military off to kill people and break things; keeping Mexicans out of the country; preventing women from controlling their own bodies and reproduction; controlling who can fall in love and get married; criminalizing what consenting adults can do in the privacy of their own bedrooms; arresting, prosecuting, convicting and jailing weed monkey stoners; taking away your anonymity and privacy by allowing Big Gummint to spy on you without a warrant in case you just might be a terrorist.

So that's it. Two paragraphs sums it all up and, quite frankly, it's all shit I've said before. But for some reason, I felt compelled to ramble on and on and on about it. I read it this morning and I found it boring, not that funny, pretty pedantic, so I chose not to post it.

I know you're all disappointed. Let me make it up to you.

Instead of a (intended) biting, witty, insightful, educating, satirical and enlightening essay on the hypocrisy of the current election cycle, I give you a YouTube video of a turtle fucking a shoe. Which, surprisingly, I found by going to YouTube and doing a search for "turtle fucking a shoe".



You're welcome.