Tiger Woods - What Really Happened

Tiger Woods plays golf for a living and is married to a fucking Supermodel.


They're rich as fuck. They have kids.


They have pets.



Yet despite having a seemingly perfect life, the rumor is he had an affair with professional skank Rachel Uchitel.

[thanks @manningtheship http://bit.ly/859fxx]


Now we have word that Tiger left his house after 2am and accidently hit a fire hydrant and and tree, after which his wife broke out the back wind shield of his SUV to rescue him.

BOOL! SHEET!

I've been married a couple of times and been in a A LOT of relationships. Here's what I think happened.

He got into a fight with his wife over his affair, she grabbed one of his own golf clubs and came after him wanting to cave his fucking skull in. He called 911 (tape to surface later) and he ran for his life in his SUV. She threw the fucking golf club at him breaking out his rear window, and he was so freaked out he didn't notice the fire hydrant and the tree he crashed in to.

"Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press that officers found Woods, 33, lying in the street with his wife, Elin Nordegren, next to him.

She told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and "came out and broke the back window with a golf club". Woods had lacerations to his upper and lower lips, and he had blood in his mouth, Saylor said."

Again, BOOLSHEET! She dragged his ass out of his fucked up Escalade and beat the shit out of him till the police showed up and pulled her ass off of him!

As in all exclusive communities (like Johnson County), the police exist not to enforce the law, but to protect the reputations of the rich residents and their children.

Expect official statements from every level of government and law enforcement to continue to cover up the alcohol-fueled, domestic violence angle.

Until the truth finally forces its way to the surface.

I got 20 bucks says I'm right.


Anybody want to take that bet?