Meat Locker People

In a recent twitter exchange, @m_toast declared a humid, muggy, 95 degree day to be "gorgeous"!

I responded that I would rather be "thisclose" to frostbite than break a single bead of sweat.

She responded by lumping me in with a group she refers to as "meat locker" people.

I want to go on record as EMBRACING the Meat Locker People label!

Let me explain something.

Meat lockers are really, really cold!

Know why? I'll tell ya why.

The cold temperature PRESERVES THE MEAT and keeps it from ROTTING!

I'll let you in on another little secret. You? Me? All those people around you? We're made out of meat!

Cold temperatures are kind to humans! Hot, muggy, swampy conditions are hostile to humans.

This weather FUCKING SUCKS and KILLS PEOPLE!

I'm not going anywhere or doing anything until October when the planet is once again hospitable to humans.

Until then, I will be the most un-environmentally friendly, un-green, and nipply comfortable bastard on the planet. Ima have a carbon footprint that will dwarf Alaska if that's what it takes to keep me comfortable.