The Book of Job - Ongoing

I've always found the Book of Job to be one of the most troubling, and disturbing books of the Bible. Much more so than even Revelations (clearly a psychotic hallucination).

Follow me as I explore a most peculiar "God".

NOTE: All Bible passages are taken from BibleGateway.com

Job's First Test

Job 1:6-12 (New International Version)

6 One day the angels [a] came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan [b] also came with them.

OK, lets hit the fucking "PAUSE" button right there. God calls a Staff Meeting and Lucifer shows up. Wasn't he banished from Heaven for the whole Eve/Snake/Apple incident? I mean, Adam and Eve got kicked out of The Garden of Eden for their unsuspecting role in the ensuing kerfuffle and we are all still paying for that. But fucking Satan still gets to show up at Heavenly staff meetings and get face time with Jehovah? WTF? Who is God's Chief of Staff? Who is managing his calendar? Because that's just fucked up!

7 The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."

OK, again. God didn't know where Satan had come from? What happened to the whole Omniscient, All Knowing thing? I mean, if he can't even keep tabs on fucking Satan, how much attention do you think he's paying to your petty ass shit?

8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

Is God actually bragging to the Devil about his followers? Doesn't that seem a bit insecure to you?

9 "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. 10 "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."
12 The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

In case you didn't catch it, God and the Devil just made a bet. Satan is free to fuck up all of Job's shit in an effort to get him to curse God. So don't try to tell me that the Bible prohibits gambling!

More later. Stay tuned.