Friday, January 7, 2011
Happy New Year, y'all!

Hey, my peoples! Happy New Year to you all. I've finally shrugged off the cobwebs of a warm and fuzzy Christmas and and am ready to face 2011. And how the year has started...
Two murders; a sick Cabinet member; the front bench Gods shining on Kellman at last and giving him a pick; Mara Thompson taking up the mantle of her late husband David in St. John - and it's only January 7!
As for the by-election in St. John, I wish Mrs. Thompson the best of luck. She's the last person I figured would end up in the political foray, but life is funny that way. Anyway, the seat is hers to lose, as it's been a DLP stronghold for the past 50 odd years.
I see that Opposition Leader Owen Arthur has declared that there will be no special treatment for Mara Thompson. He will be well advised to focus his attacks on the DLP and not on the still grieving widow Mara, because he might end up turning off the entire populace....
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Ancient Aliens My Big Black Ass!

For some inexplicable reason, I watched an episode of Ancient Aliens tonight.

Which, by the way, is exactly like watching any given program on Fox News. A steaming pile of bullshit lightly sprinkled with a few grains of fact.
But I digress.
OK, so all of these huge, ancient, megalithic monuments are astronomical observatories built by our ancestors with the help of aliens.
Let me get this straight.

The nearest star (other than the sun) is Proxima Centauri and it is 4.5 light years away.

So these ancient aliens who had the technology 6,000 years ago to travel light years to get here and make contact with our stone age ancestors said "Hey dudes! We're more advanced than your ancestors will be for another 7,000 years! We're gonna help you out and leave a little "easter egg" hinting at our existence. We're going to teach you how to build telescopes out of BIG ASS ROCKS that only work twice a year!!"

Now, they could have said "We're going to leave you this 1 trillion megapixel telescope powered by an eternal energy source built out of starship hull-metal alloy and protected by an impervious force field that will preserve and protect it for billions of years and it will remain pointed at our home star system forever. All you have to do is look at it. Oh, and when this light over here comes on...it's time to plant your crops. When this other light over here comes on, you can harvest your crops. You're welcome."

But no. Ancient aliens with technology that is indistinguishable from magic travelled light years to visit barbarians to teach them how to stack rocks more better.

Right. That makes perfect sense. If you watch Fox News.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
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