(photo "borrowed" from The Pitch - I promise to give it back when I'm done)
I don't usually write about local politics. I used to play in that sandbox from time to time, but then a small herd of feral alleycats started treating it like their own personal literbox and now the stench of stupid from their foul and fetid droppings is strong enough to knock a buzzard off a gut-wagon at 100 paces.
So I tend to stay away. But I think I can toss this in from a safe distance and run away before being tainted.
Although I wouldn't say no to a little taint from time to time. Just sayin'.
But I digress.
Let me get to the fucking point.
I'm no sports fan. I could give a flying fuck at a rolling donut whether this town has ANY sports teams at all. Big, dumb, spoiled, violent jocks getting paid millions of dollars to hurt each other and disappoint their paying customers isn't a spectacle I take any pleasure in.
But today, I saw this story about how Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser is no longer willing to pony-up a couple of million dollars a year to help fund the Jackson County Sports Complex, which includes Arrowhead Stadium, home of the Kansas City Chiefs, and Kauffman Stadium, home of the Kansas City Royals.
Fair enough. Kansas City isn't under any contractual obligation to support the sports complex. As I understand, I believe it's always been a "gentleman's agreement" generally understood to benefit everyone.
But if Kansas City isn't going to contribute anything at all to the sports complex, then why the fuck should the Chiefs and Royals be saddled with the name of a city that doesn't want them?
I say the teams change their names to the Jackson County Chiefs and the Jackson County Royals.
I hope you enjoyed yesterday's provocative, 'swexy' Valentine's songs, 'cause I have five more coming at you today. We'll start off with perhaps my favourite of all the song's I'll be posting this week, Ms. Chrisette Michele with "If I Have My Way". Enjoy.
I hadn't planned on doing another Iran post, but the best friend I've never met and one of my favorite long-time commenters, "I Travel for JOOLS" left a comment that deserved a larger response.
Here is her comment:
"After reading all this, I guess I'd sum it up as saying the reason for Iran's behavior is what America has done to them. Sort of "God damn America", to quote a well known preacher. So, that must be why they hate Israel and threaten to wipe them off the face of the earth. So that's why they are in defiance of the U.N. with uranium enrichment. So that's why the 12th IMAM is returning.
"The 12th Imam: Why Is This Especially Important Now? While Christians look for Jesus’ 2nd coming, the Jews await the Messiah and Muslims await the 12th Imam. Mr. Ahmadinejad, and his cabinet, say they have a ‘signed contract’ with al Mahdi in which they pledge themselves to his work. What does this work involve? In light of concerns over Iran’s nuclear capabilities, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has reportedly stated Israel should be wiped off the map. He spoke to the United Nations in September ’05. During that speech he claims to have been in an aura of light and felt a change in the atmosphere during which time no one present could blink their eyes. Iran’s PM is also said to have spoken in apocalyptic terms and seems to relish conflict with the West whom he calls the Great Satan. This is while he proclaims he must prepare the world for the coming Mahdi by way of a world totally under Muslim control. He is working hard to bring about the world-wide horrors that must be in place for their al Mahdi to bring peace."
It doesn't matter what we do or say. It is enough we exist."
Let me address the 12th Imam references first. I'm well aware that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a fucking nut job who thinks it is his destiny to speed the return of the 12th Imam. Because I blogged about it back in 2006.
It's always scary when people who are capable of believing in a bunch of supernatural, apocalyptic bullshit are allowed to assume a position of power. Because I'm here to tell ya, ain't none of that shit ever gonna happen.
Jesus ain't coming back and neither is the 12th Imam. That's all fairy tales and nursery rhythms.
What is very, very real is that actions have consequences.
Let me ask you a question. Why do you view Iran as an enemy of the United States and why are you so afraid that they will develop nuclear weapons?
Do you view them as our enemy just because they exist? Do you view them as our enemy because you are jealous of them and you want what they have?
Because I know a little bit about you I'm going to take the liberty of saying "No", that's not why you view them as an enemy. You are a rational person. You view them as our enemy because they openly threaten us and our friends!
You're a smart lady. You see where I'm going here. Do you really think that Iran and other nations who oppose us and threaten us do so just because we exist? Because, as Bush used to be fond of saying "They hate us because of our freedom!".
No. It's not that simple.
Iran views us an an enemy because we have behaved as their enemy. We facilitated a coup of their democratically elected Prime Minister, replaced him with a ruthless dictator and helped install a Secret Police organization that tortured and imprisoned Iranian citizens! Figuring out why they don't like us isn't rocket science. It doesn't require invoking Jesus and Imams.
As far as Iran wanting to wipe Israel from the face of the Earth, Israel's neighbors have been vowing to do that since it came into existence. That's not unique to Iran. And I'm not talking about the post Holocaust creation of modern Israel in 1948.
I'm talking about the ORIGINAL Israel. The one that used to be the Land of Canaan. The one populated by the Canaanites.
In the Old Testament Yahweh told the Jewish people that he was giving them the Land of Canaan and they should go in and take it from the Canaanites.
That was their "legal claim". God gave it to us so it's ours. Needless to say this didn't sit well with the Canaanites and their neighbors.
The names have changed, but the political and emotional dynamics are exactly the same.
Now, forcible land grabs are not unique to Israel. Forcible land grabs are what define the world we live in. Every nation on the planet is either the beneficiary or victim of multiple forcible land grabs. If you are reading this from anywhere within the United States, you are the beneficiary of forcible land grabs.
So it's a legitimate question to ask why this one particular land grab by the Jewish people should be such a long lasting source of hostility.
Blame religion.
In His Infinite, Infallible Wisdom, the God of Abram convinced him that there was only One True God. Abram accepted this God and became Abraham.
Abraham had 2 sons, Isaac and Ishmael.
Yahweh ordered Abraham to sacrifice his son to prove his devotion to Him.
According to scripture, Abraham acted in good faith, took his son to the mountain, tied him up and was ready to kill him when Yahweh produced a magical lamb, told Abraham he had proved himself, he could sacrifice the lamb instead of his son and that Abraham and Yahweh would be eternal pals. Yahweh would bless Abraham's descendants and make them a Great Nation.
Jews and Christians claim descent from Isaac through his son Jacob (also known as Israel).
Muslims claim descent from Ishmael.
Jews and Christians say it was Isaac who was bound on the rock and about to be sacrificed.
Muslims claim it was Ishmael whom God spared.
Thus began the most violent and epic real estate battle known to man.
My contention has always been that if The Land of Canaan is the birthplace of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, the true birthplace of humanity's 3 greatest monotheistic religions, and if that One True God is real, shouldn't this be the most blissful, peaceful and awe inspiring place on the planet? If God is All Powerful, shouldn't His/Her Holy Land be a place where all hatred is rendered powerless and every Pilgrim feels at peace?
How does an All Powerful God allow the Holiest Place on the planet to be up for grabs to whoever has the least holiest intentions?
Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.
So, back to the Iranian situation.
Iran wants to wipe Israel from the face of the Earth because as Muslims (descendants of Ishmael), they think God gave Canaan to them and view the modern Jewish state as thieves and usurpers.
The Jews (descendants of Isaac), they think God gave Canaan to them and they were able to use the post-Holocaust environment to rally world support to give it to them as a permanent homeland to prevent another Holocaust.
Christians, especially American fundamentalist Christians, back the Jewish claim because Christians are basically a Jewish sect twice removed. They have an entire eschatology based on the fate of Israel.
So the God of Abraham is responsible for this mess. He promised the same thing to three different groups and watched them all fight over the spoils in His name.
I suspect that "Yahweh/Jesus/Allah" may in fact be a Trickster.
"In Norse mythology, Loki is known as a trickster. He is described in the Prose Edda as a "contriver of fraud". Although he doesn’t appear often in the Eddas, he is generally described as a member of the family of Odin. Despite his divine or demi-god status, there's little evidence to show that Loki had a following of worshippers of his own; in other words, his job was mostly to make trouble for other gods, men, and the rest of the world."
I don't know of any other explanation of The God of Abraham that makes any sense. If he exists at all (which I deny), he must be a Trickster.
Hey, peoples. This is the week most people either love or hate, the week leading up to Valentine's Day on February 14. We all get bombarded by lovey-dovey tunes on the radio; every restaurant in the island is offering some lunch or dinner special and everywhere you look red and white is on display.
Anyhoo, Cheese-on-Bread can't be left out of this love fest, so I decided that between now and Friday, I'd bring you 20 (in random order) of my fave 'swexy' Valentine's songs. 'Swexy' songs are those (in my opinion, anyway) with lyrics that just put you in the mood for love. Wherever possible I'll put up a video of the artist performing the song, or just the audio.
Enjoy!
Cry To Me - Solomon Burke (Dirty Dancing)
Feeling the heat yet? I'll turn it up a notch tomorrow, haha.
Mostly about that sawed-off little bat-shit crazy president of theirs, Achmed Iwantadinnerjacket or whatever the fuck his name is.
You get that Iran and the U.S. don't like each other and you understand that Iran getting nukes would probably be bad news.
But do you really understand where they fit into the geo-political scheme of things? Do you know why our relationship with Iran is a bit, um, strained?
If you're an American, prolly not. But that's OK. I'm here to help.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE U.S./IRAN RELATIONSHIP
The United States first established diplomatic relations with Iran during the Anglo-Persian War in 1856. For the turbulent, convoluted and Machievellian history of the region up until that time, you should google "The Great Game".
In 1909 Howard Baskerville, an American Presbyterian missionary in Tabriz became Iran's General Lafayette during the Constitutional Revolution. He died in battle fighting the Royalists in Mohammad Ali Shah's elite Cossak Brigade. This American is still a revered figure in Iran.
So things started off really good! Until after WWII and the start of the Cold War.
In all honesty, Iran started this shit.
We had been mostly good to them for 100 years, gang-raping their oil fields and giving them the occasional reach-around. That's how business was conducted in those days and everyone pretended to be happy about it.
But then in 1953, their Prime Minister Mossadegh and his National Front party got all "uppity" and decided to nationalize the country's oil industry.
In this context, "nationalize" means to "steal back". Foreign oil companies from the United States, Britain, and every other country who needed oil were going at Iran's oil fields like a bunch of frat boys at a $2 whore.
So Mossadegh said "All of that infrastructure you built to extract our oil? Yeah, that all belongs to us now. Fuck you. Buh bye".
As you can imagine, that didn't sit very well with the U.S. oil companies and the U.S. government (I'm sorry, was that redundant?).
So in 1953, the U.S. and Great Britain get together in the American Embassy in Tehran (waypoint this location in your GPS for later) and go into cahoots with the C.I.A. to oust the democratically elected Mossadegh, aborting Iran's attempt at democracy, and replace him with Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, a.k.a The Shah of Iran.
Between 1953 and 1957, the C.I.A. works closely with The Shah's regime to create the SAVAK, the Iranian secret police who brutally supressed, tortured, and jailed without due process any political disidents.
He was our bitch.
We didn't have any problem with HIM buiding nukes.
The Shah of Iran was Iran's Saddam Hussein with the political and financial backing of the United States. This relationship lasted for 20 years.
Until the oil embargo of 1973 when OAPEC (Organization of Arab Petroleum Exporting Countries consisting of the Arab members of OPEC, plus Egypt, Syria and Tunisia) proclaimed an oil embargo "in response to the U.S. decision to re-supply the Israeli military" during the Yom Kippur war; it lasted until March 1974.
Oil quadrupled from $3.00 a barrel to $12.00 a barrel. The price of a gallon of gas in the U.S. went from .38 cents a gallon to .55 cents a gallon! Panic ensued! Lines formed! Tempers flared!
The Nixon and Ford administration advisors Henry Kissinger, Brent Scowcroft and Donald Rumsfeld implored their homeboy the Shah to break ranks with OPEC and lower the cost of oil.
The Shah said, "Um, no. Fuck you. High oil prices are good for Iran and good for me. So long, and thanks for the coup!"
Fucker went ROGUE like a proto Sarah Palin! I do what I want!
The U.S. withdrew support for the Shah which paved the way for the 1979 Islamic Revolution which overthrew the Shah and replaced him with the fundamentalist Islamic Republic led by the formerly exiled Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini.
The Iranian revolutionaries go apeshit, storm the American Embassy in Tehran (remember that location from 1953?) take 53 Americans hostage and hold them for 444 days! Queue Ted Koppel.
The hosages are held captive for the rest of the Carter administration.
The very day Reagan was inaugurated, the hostages were being released and boarding airplanes headed for home.
It was largely believed at the time that this Iranian change of heart was because they viewed Reagan as a really tall, bat-shit crazy, right-wing nut-job who might let loose the nuclear dogs of war because he was a stupid B-movie actor who lacked the intellect to distinguish reality from a Hollywood movie script.
Between Reagan and Iwantadinnerjacket, the relationship simmered at a low boil.
Then al Queda dropped the Twin Towers on 9/11 and the Bush administration tried to lump everyone they could into the Axis of Evil, we invaded Afghanistan, then Iraq. A massive influx of U.S. military forces invaded the Middle East. We've been there for 8 years now. Longer than any other war in American history. Ever!
So, back to the topic of Iran and U.S. relationships. Why on earth would Iran be so beligerant all the time and want to pursue nuclear weapons?
Sometimes, a picture truly does speak a thousand words.
We have Iran SURROUNDED with Marines, Air Force, Navy, National Guard, Mercenary Contractors, European allies, heavily armed unmanned aerial drones, robots, cruise missles and nukes.
So is it any wonder that Iran might feel threatened by us, "get their back up" and flip us off?
When you invade and surrround an enemy with hundreds of thousands human and robotic soldiers, and you have decades of subterfuge and nefarious shenanigans between you, don't be so surprised when that enemy becomes alarmed and responds in a hostile manner.
If you read this far, you get an A+ whether you agree with me or not. I'm one of "those" instructors.
Here I just went and deleted a comment on my blog for the FIRST TIME EVER in an attempt to protect Alonzo Washington's privacy, and what has he been up to in the meantime?
This:
February 4, 2010 - Thursday
Blogger: Hip White Guy sounds upset/ Call me!
"KC & Hip White Guy,
I linked to one of my cowardly hater's blogs that had a negative comment about me. He was so upset about it that he did a bigger blog about me. I always try to highlight the negative things people say about me so that the public can see what it is like to be vocal in the community. It has good moments and bad moments. I wanted this dork to see my power. I linked to his blog that no one reads and it turned up on the TKC & the KC Crime Scene blogs. It took me to get this lame some attention. Without me he is nobody. I don't really care what anyone says about me unless they have some nuts to say it face to face. This cat has never helped anyone in his life on a major level like I have and do all of the time. He tries to downplay my greatness by saying I just take tips and that I have no police training. That's funny because the police who would not listen to the Precious Doe tipster had police training. They did not solve the case. The whole KCMO Police Homicide Unit had police training and they did not move on a good tip. I asked for the mother's DNA of Precious Doe from the tipster and I challenged the police in the media to test it. That's the only thing that solved the case. That's way bigger than just taking a tip nerd. You will never do anything that great in your life. Keep in mind it was not luck. The first week I opened this Myspace page I solved the murder of a White marine named Jeffrey Dunham. Yes I got a tip that the police had been trying to get for a whole year. However, that was not enough to solve the case alone. They kept asking me to contact the tipster and get more from the tipster. The police needed a witness to make the charges stick. The tipster would not say who was in the car with him. Yet, the tipster told me that a person in the car was a big sports figure at a college and he did not want to risk his future being associated to the case. The cop wanted more and needed more to close the case. I scanned my tipster's friends list on Myspace a figured out who the witness was. The cops got him to talk after I told them that this guy would sing because he had a big future at risk. The case was only solved because of me. The cops had nothing. I have done this on many other cases. I have done it too many times to write about boy. Ad Hoc has never done what I have done and this jerk (Hip White Guy) never will. Batman has never solved a murder case because he is a fictional character dummy. I wonder does this fool know that. I have a website for my comic book company. The Myspace thing is just and way to help people. It's is meant to be loose. That's why I have over a half a million readers. Plus it works. Hip White Guy it's no biggie. Just call me today and we can meet and talk about this. I know you are a weak punk. Let's meet up and we can talk about what your problem is with me. That way you won't have to write such a long @$s blog about me. Grow some balls and meet me somewhere. Here is my number (913) 321-6764. Call me. KC read this blog. I think it is funny. This guy is telling me to do what I all ready do. I have put a number of crooks in jail. Furthermore, I don't do vigils. That's Ad Hoc! I guess he thinks all Black people look alike. The post is full of lies. I really don't think this dude knows what I do. I have gotten so many people to come forward with tips. I convinced the tipster who dropped dime on Shauntey Henderson to come forward. I guess this guy is going to have to start promoting me on his blog. All that he is saying I should do I have done. Hip White Guy you are a joke! Hip White Guy check the photo above. That's me turning in a criminal suspect who surrendered to me via my Myspace page. Yeah, it did not take police training to do that pr*ck. I am walking him up the steps of the downtown KCMO Police Department. I have pictures of what I do. You most likely only have pictures of yourself jacking off.I am big you are nothing. My crimefighting has made local, national & international headlines. What you do is all in you head. Call me if you want to meet coward. I like blog beefs. It makes a lot of people read your site. Hip White get ready for a lot of new readers.
Alonzo Washington"
And this:
Blogger: Hip White Guy is a punk & coward!!!
"KC,
I asked this weak girly man to call me since he had so much to say on his blog about me and guess what? He did not call. I am guessing a yellow streak went up his booty when I told him we could meet in person. I just wanted to see what his problem was. Maybe just talk some things out in person. However, he is not too brave when he is not typing on his blog. People who talk crap from a distant are cowards. I guess this jerk is not too hip after all. This dude would never talk crap to me in person. He is a little b*tch!
Peace,
Alonzo Washington"
I think he demonstrates exactly what I meant when I apparently started this by calling him a "self-serving, self-promoting, useless fucktard".
I rest my case.
Alonzo, I didn't call you because I don't trust an attention whore like you with my phone number.
Every single work day, you can find me strolling through the financial district, mulling the mysteries of the cosmos. You want to meet me? Come and find me.
