The Real Gulf Oil Disaster Hasn't Even Started Yet

Oh don't get me wrong. It's very fucking bad. BP's busted ass oil well has been spewing 60,000 barrels of oil per day into the Gulf of Mexico for 66 days. Hmm, let's see...6 times ought is ought...carry the 3...

That comes to 3,960,000 barrels of oil released in the Gulf of Mexico. Put another way, that comes to 217,800,000 gallons of oil. So far. With no end in sight.

But wait! It's worse! Because it's not "just oil" going into the water. There are also at least 15,000 gallons a day of Corexit 9500 oil dispersant being added to the stew.

"Oil is toxic at 11 ppm while Corexit 9500 is toxic at only 2.61 ppm; Corexit 9500 is four times as toxic as the oil itself."

But wait! It's worse! Although oil typically does not evaporate into the atmosphere, the fact that the Corexit 9500 is thinning and dispersing the oil may, in fact, allow the oil to enter the water cycle and be sucked up into forming hurricanes.

In fact, there is at least anecdotal evidence that it has already started raining oil in Louisiana.



But wait, it's worse! Even without evaporating oil, guess what happens to the toxic Corexit 9500 when the temperature increases (ya know, like it does in the Gulf of Mexico in the summer)? I'll tell you what it does. It turns into a gas and enters the atmosphere.

This might be a good time to examine how hurricanes form and where they get all that warm air and water from.



Now, let's take another look at the picture of the Gulf from space>



Look at that for a minute. Try to remember where all that oil is as you watch this short animated video from the GOES weather satellite of Hurricane Katrina making landfall.



Probably looks like it was over pretty quick once it hit land. But look at how far inland all of that Gulf moisture that Katrina picked up made it. Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky. Fucking Ohio!



So here's the bottom line folks. For the foreseeable future, possibly for years, even decades, there will be this giant fucking bowl of toxic stew where the Gulf of Mexico used to be.

Every single year between June and November, there will be hurricanes sucking up all of that poisonous filth and spreading it all over the south, the eastern seaboard and yes, even the Midwest. It will get in our rivers, our lakes, our aquifers. You may never be able to experience a Midwestern thunderstorm the same way again.

Oh, and to you Global Warming and Climate Change deniers who believe "Oh, we are just puny humans! It's arrogant to think our little actions could affect the planet! It's really big and we are very tiny!". To you ignorant "drill baby, drill!" fucktards, please go take a nice long swim in the Gulf.

Soccer - The beautiful game

For the past few weeks, when I'm not working or busy with the family, it's all about World Cup football from South Africa.

And I'll tell you, it ain't only the vuvuzelas that have my head buzzing. Have you seen some of the footballers in this year's championships? Wuhloss, no wonder they call soccer the beautiful game! Here are some of my personal faves. Of course, I respect their football skills, don't get tie up. I'm just sayingggg.


Fabio Canavarro - Italy. I real vex that Italy get knock out of the game, 'cause not only is it one of my favourite teams, but I'm gonna miss the team's hottie captain, Fabio Cannavaro. Aye, carramba!


Kevin-Prince Boateng - Ghana. This 23-year-old Ghanian has plenty of flair, and his team made it into the second round, so more Boateng for everybody!


Cristiano Ronaldo - Portugal. The highest paid man in football is pretty dazzling to watch on the field, and off-field he isn't so hard on the eyes, either...


Kaka - Brazil. I love me some Brazil, and I especially love me some Kaka. He's known as a peaceful soul, so the fact that he got red carded in Brazil's last game against the Ivory Coast came as a shock to many.


Oguchi Onyewu - USA. The USA is hardly my fave team at the World Cup, but there's no denying that defender Oguchi has something a lil extra.

Remembering MJ

Hey, peoples. I know, I know. I disappeared on you again, and for that I apologise. For those of who who still check in to the blog regularly, thanks for your loyalty. And thanks so much for your emails as well.

Anyhoo, enough about me. In two hours, the world will mark the first anniversary of the death of one of the greatest entertainers of out time, the inimitable Michael Jackson.

Tomorrow several of the music stations will no doubt be paying tribute to MJ, and I'll be singing along and blaming it on the boogie with the rest of your fans, MJ.

You are missed, King of Pop.

Soccer Is So Incredibly Gay

This Is Why America Is Doomed

Language guru: Obama speech too 'professorial' for his target audience

By the CNN Wire Staff
June 17, 2010 10:23 a.m. EDT

"(CNN) -- President Obama's speech on the gulf oil disaster may have gone over the heads of many in his audience, according to an analysis of the 18-minute talk released Wednesday.

Tuesday night's speech from the Oval Office of the White House was written to a 9.8 grade level, said Paul J.J. Payack, president of Global Language Monitor. The Austin, Texas-based company analyzes and catalogues trends in word usage and word choice and their impact on culture.

Though the president used slightly less than four sentences per paragraph, his 19.8 words per sentence "added some difficulty for his target audience," Payack said."

That's right. The President's speech was dumbed down to the level a 15 year old high school freshman should be able to grasp, and it was still too complicated for the average American to comprehend.

Put another way, the average American is a fucking idiot! The average American has the intellectual capacity and critical thinking skills of a 14 year old.

This is why George W. Bush was so popular with "average Americans". He didn't have to "dumb down" his speeches for them. He was already there.

How in the fuck can we be trusted with civilian control over the mightiest military force the planet has ever seen when the average American thinks fart jokes are the pinnacle of comedic creativity and giggles uncontrollably when they hear the word "boob"?

This is why the Indians and the Chinese are going to rocket past us on the world stage like a cheetah passing a slug.

Because the average American is cowering in their root cellar, listening to Glenn Beck on battery powered radios, desperately clinging to guns and religion (Obama was right about that), stockpiling gold, ready to shoot their neighbor at the drop of a hat because the world seems so scary and complicated. They don't understand what's going on in the world.

Why?

Because they're fucking stupid.

This country was founded by intellectual giants! Philosophers, scientists, theologians, doctors, lawyers, agriculturalists, political theorists, men of extraordinary intelligence with deep critical and analytical skills.



But this country has been inherited by people like this.



As sad as it is, I think the smartest person in that video is the hayseed reporting the Big Foot sighting. The Deputy Sheriff investigating it as an actual "incident" and the reporters covering it as actual "news" are even bigger fucking idiots than that dumb hick who claimed to see it.

He probably had a real good chuckle over that later when he was fucking his rooster.

Not to put to fine a point on it, but everyone in that video can procreate and vote.

We're fucked.

This Has To Stop

I found one phone book in my driveway and one on my doorstep yesterday.

I can't remember the last time I used or needed a fucking phonebook! Not since I got an internet connection and Google!

What is the environmental cost of this bullshit?

The trees killed.

The fossil fuels used to transport the dead trees to a pulp mill.

The fossil fuels used at the pulp mill to turn the trees into paper.

The energy needed to make all of the colored ink and printing preses.

The fossil fuels and bandwidth needed to soliit, compose and pay for all of those ads and coupons.

The fossil fuels needed to power all of those delivery vehicles to randomly drop thick, colorful, phonebooks on doorstops and in driveways of people who don't need them, don't want them, and won't use them.

It's just ridiculous!

I understand there are old Luddites who don't have computers ot teh Internet. Fine. Let them request a free phonebook. I got no problem with that.

But stop mas producing and randomly distributing them to the vast majority of people who don't need or use them.

Stupid.