The final Ministerial awards are:
The Firestarter Award
This award goes to the Minister who knows how to light a fire under the projects he undertakes. A former DLP administration had a firestarter in Harcourt Lewis, the just departed BLP administration had one in Dame Billie Miller. Good things are expected from this currrent firestarter and I'm sure he won't disappoint.
The award goes to Minister of Social Care, Constituency Empowerment, Urban and Rural Development, Christopher Sinckler
The One-to-Watch
Every now and then there's a Minister who gives off a good vibe, who appears to have the potential to go far in the political sphere. It's early days yet, but the vote of confidence he just received from the PM says a lot.
The winner of this award is:
Minister of Health, Donville Inniss
And the final award is the Minister of the Year. This award goes to the hardest working Minister of the year, the one who didn't let the grass grow under his feet atall. His tireless efforts to secure homes for the people of Barbados have been commendable. Without further ado, the Minister of the year is...
Minister of Housing and Lands, Michael Lashley. Good job, Minister.
Anyhoo, Happy New Year you fine peoples. Be safe out there.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Cheese-on-Bread 2008 Ministerial Awards Pt.2
Here we go again with the awards...
The Strongest Sex Appeal
No, it's not what you think. The recipient of this award did not win based on his physical attributes, but instead because of his recent comments in the House of Assembly. He created a furore by urging his Cabinet colleagues to declare their sexual orientation so that they wouldn't be considered "hyocrites" when they discuss matters of a sexual nature. He's either real brave or mad as wuh....
The winner is Minister of State, Education and Human Resource Development, Patrick Todd
The Nice Guy Finish Last Award
Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. However, politics ain't got a thing to do with being nice, and these two appear a little too laid back, especially when it comes to claiming their share of the spotlight. They may be getting the job done, but if they don't hype themselves they're going to get left in the lurch. They were both given a second chance recently; I suggest they pick up the ball and run like the wind.
Tied for this award are:
Minister of Int'l Business and Int'l Transport, George Hutson and
Minister of the Environment, Water Resources and Drainage, Dr. Denis Lowe
The Macbeth Award
"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
People expected so much from this award winner. In opposition he fussed and fretted and shadowed to the hilt, only to fade into the pale as a government minister. In all fairness he had an insurmountable task and maybe the recent change in portfolio will do him some good. The winner is:
Former Minister of Health, currently Minister of Economic Affairs, Empowerment, Innovation, Trade, Industry and Commerce, Dr. David Estwick.
The Foot-in-Mouth Award
Every Cabinet has one of these; the Minister who can't seem to open his or her mouth without ticking off someone. Whether you call them frank or tactless, they can sure do with a copy of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.
The winner is:
Minister of Education and Human Resource Development, Ronald Jones
The final awards tomorrow....
The Strongest Sex Appeal
No, it's not what you think. The recipient of this award did not win based on his physical attributes, but instead because of his recent comments in the House of Assembly. He created a furore by urging his Cabinet colleagues to declare their sexual orientation so that they wouldn't be considered "hyocrites" when they discuss matters of a sexual nature. He's either real brave or mad as wuh....
The winner is Minister of State, Education and Human Resource Development, Patrick Todd
The Nice Guy Finish Last Award
Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. However, politics ain't got a thing to do with being nice, and these two appear a little too laid back, especially when it comes to claiming their share of the spotlight. They may be getting the job done, but if they don't hype themselves they're going to get left in the lurch. They were both given a second chance recently; I suggest they pick up the ball and run like the wind.
Tied for this award are:
Minister of Int'l Business and Int'l Transport, George Hutson and
Minister of the Environment, Water Resources and Drainage, Dr. Denis Lowe
The Macbeth Award
"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
People expected so much from this award winner. In opposition he fussed and fretted and shadowed to the hilt, only to fade into the pale as a government minister. In all fairness he had an insurmountable task and maybe the recent change in portfolio will do him some good. The winner is:
Former Minister of Health, currently Minister of Economic Affairs, Empowerment, Innovation, Trade, Industry and Commerce, Dr. David Estwick.
The Foot-in-Mouth Award
Every Cabinet has one of these; the Minister who can't seem to open his or her mouth without ticking off someone. Whether you call them frank or tactless, they can sure do with a copy of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.
The winner is:
Minister of Education and Human Resource Development, Ronald Jones
The final awards tomorrow....
Monday, December 29, 2008
Cheese-on-Bread Ministerial Awards for 2008
Hey, peoples. Hope everyone had a good Christmas and it was filled with love and cheer and all that fuzzy stuff.
So, it's almost been a year since the DLP took over the reins of government here in Bimshire and I haven't really blogged much about their progress so far because frankly I didn't have the time. Not to mention, I wanted to give them a chance to get down to work. Tis only fair, right?
Anyhoo, I think enough time has passed that we can get a measure of the men and women of Cabinet and to pass out some year-end awards in the following categories:
The Most Eloquent Minister
Most politicians like to talk, even though many of them don't often make sense. This award goes to the Minister who not only has a way with words, but appears to have the heart of a poet. The winner is...
Deputy Prime Minister and Attorney General, Freundel Stuart.
The runner-up in this category was Minister of Culture Steven Blackett, who is a former broadcaster and can make the simplest sentence sound real sweet.
The Most Photogenic Minister
The winner in this category won't come as a surprise. Never before has a Minister of Government other than a Prime Minister received so much press coverage, and did the camera ever love her! Hands down, the most camera friendly Minister was...
Minister of Family, Youth Affairs and Sport, Dr. Esther Byer Suckoo. She's much quieter these days but who knows what 2009 will bring.
More awards later....
So, it's almost been a year since the DLP took over the reins of government here in Bimshire and I haven't really blogged much about their progress so far because frankly I didn't have the time. Not to mention, I wanted to give them a chance to get down to work. Tis only fair, right?
Anyhoo, I think enough time has passed that we can get a measure of the men and women of Cabinet and to pass out some year-end awards in the following categories:
The Most Eloquent Minister
Most politicians like to talk, even though many of them don't often make sense. This award goes to the Minister who not only has a way with words, but appears to have the heart of a poet. The winner is...
Deputy Prime Minister and Attorney General, Freundel Stuart.
The runner-up in this category was Minister of Culture Steven Blackett, who is a former broadcaster and can make the simplest sentence sound real sweet.
The Most Photogenic Minister
The winner in this category won't come as a surprise. Never before has a Minister of Government other than a Prime Minister received so much press coverage, and did the camera ever love her! Hands down, the most camera friendly Minister was...
Minister of Family, Youth Affairs and Sport, Dr. Esther Byer Suckoo. She's much quieter these days but who knows what 2009 will bring.
More awards later....
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Dagwood Summit
Last Friday Absolutely Fiesty and I had lunch with Midtown Miscreant at Dagwoods on SW Blvd over greasy food served by skinny blondes who call everyone "honey", spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with domestic issues on their cell phones, and have a difficult time sorting out the checks.
It was a Perfect Storm of quirky bloggers, unique locations, and compelling conversation.
One of the topics was twitter.
"Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows its users to send and read other users' updates (otherwise known as tweets), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length.
Updates are displayed on the user's profile page and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them."
MM does not particpate in the twitterverse. He thinks it is silly and a forum for people who are too lazy to spend the time it takes to actually write something of interest.
As the cover story of last week's Pitch, he may be right.
Personally, I use twitter as a social networking forum for inappropriate flirtations and last minute lunch hook ups.
However there are those who embrace the restrictive 140 characters of a "tweet" as a concentration of creativity. It's called micro-blogging.
The idea of micro-blogging is to paint a complete picture or tell a complete story in just 140 characters. The optimal, competitive form of this art craft is taking up the entire 140 characters leaving 0 characters available.
There are some bloggers who really excel at this.
My latest discovery was SheriMonk who captured my heart with the following tweet:
"You asshole doing 20 in a 60, go jerk off with sandpaper and take your fucking time, okay?"
That paints a picture. It tells a story.
Another perinneal favorite is CRSE. I love this woman.
"So let me get this straight. Poop on the face is ok but dead grammas cross the line?"
"Technically, she's cancer free so she isn't even really dying now". "You need to totally bring that up next time she pulls the cancer card"
"So you show up to the checkout on crutches thinking i'll let you cut. Well played sir, but not on my watch."
"Look, bro, I do love you, but can we just not tell the anal bead story at the christmas party this year? If not for my sake, then for dad's?"
But in my book, the absolute master micro-blogger is Trelvix. I offer the following evidence.
"I told her friends I was collecting ear wax for a bust of Lincoln that I was sculpting in the cellar. Yes. They are gone now. Advantage me."
"You know how kids cry when you tell them that the mashed potatoes are actually elf lips and butt fat? No? Well then neither do I"
"As more of a Sookie Stackhouse than a Buffy Summers, my daughter accepted her gifted copy of "Twilight" with graceful & deliberate contempt."
"To the co-worker who changed my Firefox home page to the Ursine Fetish Man-Love Association Network: Well-played. And beware."
"Honestly - it wasn't so much the Bugs Bunny impression as the eye patches and Yiddish beat poetry that made the meal weird. For me, I mean"
There is something creatively challenging about someone being presented with 140 blank characters and a dare, don't you think?
DISCLAIMER: The following expresses the opinion of the Hip Suburban White Guy amd does not reflect the opinion of the other Dagwood Summit participants.
Much more engaging and interesting than reading some local, bookmarked, one trick pony with a tiresome agenda who is only capable of cutting and pasting from other people's original content and making snarky comments about it.
Life's too short for that shit.
Embrace creativity!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Chrianna heads home (his) for the Holidays
Everybody's fave loved-up R&B crooners Chris Brown and Rihanna are apparently spending Christmas in his hometown of Tappahannock, Virginia.
The two were also spotted getting their groove on in a Paris nightclub last weekend.
Well do your thing then, Chrianna. Hope you two have a Merry Christmas and if you can't be good, be careful.
Photo: Young, Black & Fabulous
The two were also spotted getting their groove on in a Paris nightclub last weekend.
Well do your thing then, Chrianna. Hope you two have a Merry Christmas and if you can't be good, be careful.
Photo: Young, Black & Fabulous
Monday, December 22, 2008
I'm Gonna Do It!
I have a Special Friend coming over tomorrow night.
No, not that kind of Special.
The other kind of Special.
We're going to chill, have a couple (=more than a couple) of drinks, watch some movies and have supper. I'm cooking and she wants FRIED CHICKEN!
Now, I don't normally make fried chicken at home. If I want to eat fried chicken, I'll just pick some up at Price Chopper or Popeyes. All the great taste without the eggs and flour and grease and mess!
But not tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm pulling the trigger on the late Greg Beck's per-fuckin-fect fried chicken!
I didn't make it when I lived in Liberty because I had an expensive gas range and the thought of big pans of boiling oil sitting over open flames in a rented house scared the living shit out of me and would have terrified my Landlord!
But now I have an electric range and I'm willing to chance it.
For you heathens and newbies who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm republishing his recipe here, in his own words:
*****
Greg Beck's per-fuckin-fect fried chicken.
What you'll be needing.
1. Large pot, not a fry pan or a fancy pants sauté pan but a large to medium sized metal pot.
2. Large bottle of canola oil.
3. Dead chicken, I use wings or skinless breasts and cut em into strips. You use what you want.
4. Six eggs
5. Bunch of fuckin flour.
6. Salt
7. Pepper
8. Garlic, I use either powdered or minced
9. Onion powder
10. Old Bay Seasoning
11. Red pepper, powdered or crushed
12. One popcorn kernel
What to do with all this shit.
1. Put pot on stove and pour oil in till pots halfway filled. But don't turn on the heat yet.
2. Wash chicken in cold water, then rewash your fuckin hands. Always be with the hand washing!
3. Salt and pepper the chicken, then sprinkle with Old Bay Seasoning.
4. Take a large bowl and crack all six eggs into it. Then add small amount of garlic and Old Bay plus a bit of onion powder. Get one of those whippy things and whip the egg mix till all the shit blends together.
5. Add chicken and make sure it's all covered by egg mix then put in fridge.
6. Now go have a smoke or surf the net for a half hour or so.
7. Now you can turn on the stove. Medium high heat should do. You don't want it too hot no matter what that punkass Emrill says.
8. If you gots a gas stove you want the flame where it's just starting to spread under the middle of the pot. For electric stove you want high heat. Gas gets hotter you know.
9. Find a large paper sack and pour a shitload of flour into it. Add salt and pepper and also garlic to taste. Add onion powder and more Old Bay. Shake all this shit together. The mix is right when it smells good.
10. Throw popcorn kernel into pot of oil. As soon as it pops the oil's hot enough.
11. Take the bowl of egg washed chicken out of the fridge and put chicken into sack and shake like a muthafucker. Chicken should come out of bag fully coated.
12. Carefully lay chicken into hot oil, do not pack together but loosely. You cook this shit in batches.
13. Now here's the most important part!! Once chicken goes in do not fuckin touch it! If you've done what I've said the chicken should be completely covered by the oil. Now go sit your ass down somewhere. Hear the noise of the chicken frying? When the frying noise stops and the chicken floats, that means the chicken's done.
14. Carefully remove chicken from pot and lay on screen or paper towels. As soon as you do that sprinkle with salt.
Repeat cooking process till all chicken's cooked.
15. Add frozen fry's to the still hot oil. Cook to taste.
You will end up with crisp tasty that's not greasy or oily. And get this, it tastes better after a night in the fridge!
Enjoy!
*****
For a side, she wants "cheesy corn".
I had no fucking idea what she was talking about (not unusual BTW...one of the many reasons I enjoy her company) so I googled it and came up with this recipe:
*****
Smoke Stack Cheesy Corn Bake Recipe
This recipe is credited to Fiorella's Jack Stack Barbecue in Kansas City, MO. Nothing like Kansas City barbecue, and this is a very popular side dish served at the "Stack."
1¼ hours 30 min prep
SERVES 10 -12
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
4 teaspoons flour
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cups sharp American cheese, shredded
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, cut up
3 (10 ounce) packages frozen whole kernel corn, thawed
3 ounces diced ham
Melt butter; stir in flour and garlic powder.
Add milk; cook & stir over medium heat.
Heat until thick and bubbly; stir in cheeses. Cook/stir over low heat until cheeses melt; stir in corn & ham.
Bake in 2 qt casserole for 45 minutes at 350.
*****
But she gave me a huge WTF on the ham, so I'll be leaving that shit out.
I may toss in some smashed spuds and gravy and some bread & butta.
I ran the numbers and by Christmas Eve we should both be about 300 lbs heavier.
2009 is going to involve some MAJOR lifestyle modifications for me.
No, not that kind of Special.
The other kind of Special.
We're going to chill, have a couple (=more than a couple) of drinks, watch some movies and have supper. I'm cooking and she wants FRIED CHICKEN!
Now, I don't normally make fried chicken at home. If I want to eat fried chicken, I'll just pick some up at Price Chopper or Popeyes. All the great taste without the eggs and flour and grease and mess!
But not tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm pulling the trigger on the late Greg Beck's per-fuckin-fect fried chicken!
I didn't make it when I lived in Liberty because I had an expensive gas range and the thought of big pans of boiling oil sitting over open flames in a rented house scared the living shit out of me and would have terrified my Landlord!
But now I have an electric range and I'm willing to chance it.
For you heathens and newbies who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm republishing his recipe here, in his own words:
*****
Greg Beck's per-fuckin-fect fried chicken.
What you'll be needing.
1. Large pot, not a fry pan or a fancy pants sauté pan but a large to medium sized metal pot.
2. Large bottle of canola oil.
3. Dead chicken, I use wings or skinless breasts and cut em into strips. You use what you want.
4. Six eggs
5. Bunch of fuckin flour.
6. Salt
7. Pepper
8. Garlic, I use either powdered or minced
9. Onion powder
10. Old Bay Seasoning
11. Red pepper, powdered or crushed
12. One popcorn kernel
What to do with all this shit.
1. Put pot on stove and pour oil in till pots halfway filled. But don't turn on the heat yet.
2. Wash chicken in cold water, then rewash your fuckin hands. Always be with the hand washing!
3. Salt and pepper the chicken, then sprinkle with Old Bay Seasoning.
4. Take a large bowl and crack all six eggs into it. Then add small amount of garlic and Old Bay plus a bit of onion powder. Get one of those whippy things and whip the egg mix till all the shit blends together.
5. Add chicken and make sure it's all covered by egg mix then put in fridge.
6. Now go have a smoke or surf the net for a half hour or so.
7. Now you can turn on the stove. Medium high heat should do. You don't want it too hot no matter what that punkass Emrill says.
8. If you gots a gas stove you want the flame where it's just starting to spread under the middle of the pot. For electric stove you want high heat. Gas gets hotter you know.
9. Find a large paper sack and pour a shitload of flour into it. Add salt and pepper and also garlic to taste. Add onion powder and more Old Bay. Shake all this shit together. The mix is right when it smells good.
10. Throw popcorn kernel into pot of oil. As soon as it pops the oil's hot enough.
11. Take the bowl of egg washed chicken out of the fridge and put chicken into sack and shake like a muthafucker. Chicken should come out of bag fully coated.
12. Carefully lay chicken into hot oil, do not pack together but loosely. You cook this shit in batches.
13. Now here's the most important part!! Once chicken goes in do not fuckin touch it! If you've done what I've said the chicken should be completely covered by the oil. Now go sit your ass down somewhere. Hear the noise of the chicken frying? When the frying noise stops and the chicken floats, that means the chicken's done.
14. Carefully remove chicken from pot and lay on screen or paper towels. As soon as you do that sprinkle with salt.
Repeat cooking process till all chicken's cooked.
15. Add frozen fry's to the still hot oil. Cook to taste.
You will end up with crisp tasty that's not greasy or oily. And get this, it tastes better after a night in the fridge!
Enjoy!
*****
For a side, she wants "cheesy corn".
I had no fucking idea what she was talking about (not unusual BTW...one of the many reasons I enjoy her company) so I googled it and came up with this recipe:
*****
Smoke Stack Cheesy Corn Bake Recipe
This recipe is credited to Fiorella's Jack Stack Barbecue in Kansas City, MO. Nothing like Kansas City barbecue, and this is a very popular side dish served at the "Stack."
1¼ hours 30 min prep
SERVES 10 -12
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
4 teaspoons flour
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cups sharp American cheese, shredded
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, cut up
3 (10 ounce) packages frozen whole kernel corn, thawed
3 ounces diced ham
Melt butter; stir in flour and garlic powder.
Add milk; cook & stir over medium heat.
Heat until thick and bubbly; stir in cheeses. Cook/stir over low heat until cheeses melt; stir in corn & ham.
Bake in 2 qt casserole for 45 minutes at 350.
*****
But she gave me a huge WTF on the ham, so I'll be leaving that shit out.
I may toss in some smashed spuds and gravy and some bread & butta.
I ran the numbers and by Christmas Eve we should both be about 300 lbs heavier.
2009 is going to involve some MAJOR lifestyle modifications for me.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar Bring Their 18th Child Into The World
Eighteen.
Eighteen fucking kids. Do they even need medical staff at this point? I think not. It's not even "giving birth" any more in the sense that you and I think of it. It's more like rolling a bb down a freshly waxed hallway.
But don't be fooled by these people. They aren't just an incredibly fertile couple with a healthy sex life who love kids. Oh no. They have an agenda.
The Duggars are what are known as "Quiverfulls". You won't find any mention of "Quiverfulls" on their official Web Site (where they sell their book to help finance their religious fetish). Because they have to know that rational people would be saying "what the fuck is wrong with you people?" if they knew the truth.
But it's right there in their header if you know Biblespeak...
"Children are a heritage of the Lord - Psalm 127:3"
But the Quiverfull Web Site isn't trying to hide anything and they quote a bit more of the passage in their header...
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the Fruit of the Womb is His reward. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them... - Psalm 127:3,4,5"
They go on to say
"We exalt Jesus Christ as Lord, and acknowledge His headship in all areas of our lives, including fertility. We exist to serve those believers who trust the Lord for family size, and to answer the questions of those seeking truth in this critical area of marriage.
Whether your quiver is large or small, you are welcome. Come browse our articles and resources. Also, be sure to check out the QuiverFull Digest, our email discussion group that was started in 1995.
Dedicated to providing encouragement and practical help to those who are striving to raise a large and growing, godly family in today's world!"
But this wacko religious idea to have as many children as possible is more than just a faith fetish. It's a political movement.
"According to journalist Kathryn Joyce,“Population is a preoccupation for many Quiverfull believers, who trade statistics on the falling white birthrate in European countries like Germany and France. Every ethnic conflict becomes evidence for their worldview: Muslim riots in France, Latino immigration in California, Sharia law in Canada. The motivations aren't always racist, but the subtext of "race suicide" is often there.[6]"
"Quiverfull authors Hess and Hess, along with Joyce, also connect the proliferation of conservative politics as a motivation behind Quiverfull. Hess and Hess state,
When at the height of the Reagan Revolution the conservative faction in Washington was enforced with squads of new conservative congressmen, legislators often found themselves handcuffed by lack of like-minded staff. There simply weren't enough conservatives trained to serve in Washington in the lower and middle capacities.[2]
Hess and Hess continue by envisioning that the offspring of Quiverfull families might enter national and local politics to bring conservative majorities, publicly-funded education to bring the teaching of creationism, and business to adjure companies to adhere to what adherents see as Christian sensibilities.[2][6]"
This is all about birthing as many white, Christian babies as possible, indoctrinating them in narrow minded, intolerant, rascist, fundamental Christian views, and raising them up to be lawyers, politicians, judges and power brokers who will have the juice to force their fantasy-based bullshit down the throats of sane, rational human beings with the force of law.
So the next time you see a picture of that big, lovable Duggar clan,
remember that you are looking at a platoon of religious Nazis who want to force their way of life on you.
I'm just sayin'.
Stanford downsizes the Legends
I knew that we hadn't heard the last of that ongoing saga between Texan billionaire Sir Allen Stanford, the West Indies Cricket Board and Digicel.
News broke a few days ago that Sir Allen had suddenly dissolved the Stanford 20/20 board of directors, throwing into doubt his future involvement in Caribbean cricket.
The Texan billionaire, who has pumped more than US$100 million into the sport since 2006, will apparently conduct a full review of his 2008 programme before outlining his plans for the 2009 programme next month.
If you recall, there was major wrangling earlier this year between the WICB and Digicel, which was claiming that the Stanford Superstars team chosen to play in Stanford's Super Series was a West Indies team and the dispute went before the London Court of International Arbitration, who agreed with Digicel.
Anyhoo, Stanford has now gone and dissolved his 20/20 board, which comprises 12 legends of West Indies cricket, - Sir Garfield Sobers, Sir Everton Weekes, Reverend Wes Hall, Lance Gibbs, Sir Vivian Richards, Andy Roberts, Joel Garner, Gordon Greenidge, Desmond Haynes, Richie Richardson, Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh.
I was always concerned that Stanford's love affair with West Indies cricket would come to a bad end one day. He has what the business of cricket needs to operate efficiently (plenty moolah), but I always felt that the commercialising of cricket has led to its downfall in the region.
I'm not in a position to say what WI cricket needs, Lord knows they've tried everything except an exorcist. All I can say is that it looks bad to open a paper and see that a WI cricket legend has been fired....
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Periodic Table of Awesoments
(click to embiggenate for readabilityness)
Many thanks to io9 who acquired it from dapperstache.
"In the 300 B.C., years before the birth of black Jesus, Aristole postulated that all good things were made of "win." That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental "awesoments" that compose all good things. The Periodic table of Awesoments can be a very useful tool. It's designed to show the relationships between awesoments, and often one can even predict how awesoments interact simply by their positions on the table."
Many thanks to io9 who acquired it from dapperstache.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Size 10 farewell for George Dubya
Hey, peoples. By now most of you must have heard about the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush. I missed the video on the news and checked around for it online, and after watching it I decided why not post it up.
All I can say is that it's a good thing the guy wasn't firing a gun, 'cause he can 'pelt' straight, as we Bajans would say. It's only because of Bush's quick reflexes (then again he's been ducking for the past two terms) that he missed. The Secret Service really fell down on the job, I thought one of them would have thrown themselves in front of Bush and taken the shoe for him, haha. They best step up their game when the new sheriff hits town in January....
All I can say is that it's a good thing the guy wasn't firing a gun, 'cause he can 'pelt' straight, as we Bajans would say. It's only because of Bush's quick reflexes (then again he's been ducking for the past two terms) that he missed. The Secret Service really fell down on the job, I thought one of them would have thrown themselves in front of Bush and taken the shoe for him, haha. They best step up their game when the new sheriff hits town in January....
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Holiday Miscellany
So I was out running some errands today up in Liberty. Having lived there for a couple of years I know how to get around on the back roads and side streets so as to keep traffic congestion and human interaction to a bare fucking minimum. Because I really don't like people very much. Scratch that...too many words again...I really don't like people. Period. Except for you, of course. And that babe over there with the great rack and the badonkadonk.
So I'm on Church Rd., if you can believe that shit. It runs parallel to 35 on the west side and it's a good way to get to the Liberty Walmart area and avoids the Holy Australian Clusterfuck that is the intesection of I-35 and 152.
I'm coming up on the Cedar Crest development. It's a bunch of duplexes that I looked into the last time I moved. They were all right. Just kind of plain and boring.
But not any fucking more! No sir! They now have what folks in Real Estate call a Distinguishing Feature. Something that sets them apart from other residential developments. Something to make them stand out from the crowd.
They have Robo-Jeebus.
(you should click to embiggen and get a better look...the backlighting was a bad idea)
Well, maybe not an actual Robo-Jeebus. I never saw him move. But he could still be a robot. He could just be standing sentinal like Gort in "The Day The Earth Stood Still" until the property manager says "Chrsito barada nicto" or something. Then he goes about righteously smiting delinquent duplex renters and collecting the fucking rent.
I've never been very good at estimating the size of things (other than my 14" penis), but this giganto-Jeebus has to be 25 or 30 feet tall. And I don't know if that is aluminum, or stainless steel or what the fuck it is.
The thing is, if it were in front of a church or something, it would be kinda cool and pretty impressive.
But it's not! It's just standing there in front of a bunch of duplexes for NO APPARENT REASON! That's fucked up!
I can just hear this conversation:
FRIEND 1: "Dood, I need to hook up with you to buy some blow and have some gay sex. How do I get to your place?"
FRIEND 2: "It's easy. Get on I-35 north and take the Pleasant Valley exit. Make a left, cross under the highway and then make a right on Church Rd. right by the QT there. Keep going until you see a shiny, 30 FOOT TALL, STAINLESS STEEL, GIANT FUCKING JESUS CHRIST SHOOTING DIVINE FUCKING DEATH RAYS FROM HIS FUCKING HEART!! That's me. Make a left. I'm 37B. Bring lube!"
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
So I'm on Plenty of Fish now
I joined because it was free. I like free. And I took their silly personality profile thing. I guess you get what you pay for. Here is what they said about me...
Self-Confidence
As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.
The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.
Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.
Family Orientation
As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.
You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.
What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.
Self-Control
The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.
As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.
Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.
Openness
As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.
Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.
Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.
Easygoingness
Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.
High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.
How does your personality affect your love life?
With the strong degree of self-confidence that you possess, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.
Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life.
Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.
As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.
Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.
*****
All so complicated! Too many words!
It's easier just to classify me as a charming buffoon. Two words, four syllables. Easier to wrap your head around and just as accurate at predicting future behavior.
Self-Confidence
As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.
The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.
Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.
Family Orientation
As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.
You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.
What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.
Self-Control
The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.
As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.
Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.
Openness
As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.
Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.
Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.
Easygoingness
Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.
High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.
How does your personality affect your love life?
With the strong degree of self-confidence that you possess, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.
Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life.
Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.
As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.
Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.
*****
All so complicated! Too many words!
It's easier just to classify me as a charming buffoon. Two words, four syllables. Easier to wrap your head around and just as accurate at predicting future behavior.
The Story Continues...
There is more fascinating news on the 100 Year Old Weblog about the aftermath of the raging gun battle that took place between police and a family of river-boating religous fanatics.
This is amazing stuff!
This is amazing stuff!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Why Don't More People Know About This??
Wow.
You have got to go over to the 100 Year Old Weblog and read this incredible story!
Apparently, 100 years ago, there was a raging gun battle in Kansas City between a family of religious fanatics and the police witnessed by about 500 spectators! The first shot was fired by a 12 year old girl! There was a "high speed pursuit" on the river!
I'm not kidding you, this would make one hell of a movie! A lot more dramatic than the Union Station Massacre.
The articles never come right out and say what religion the "fanatics" belonged to, but their belief that only 144,000 people will make it to Heaven is a big clue.
Seriously, I don't understand why I am just hearing about this now. There is definitely a part for Christopher Walken in this movie.
You have got to go over to the 100 Year Old Weblog and read this incredible story!
Apparently, 100 years ago, there was a raging gun battle in Kansas City between a family of religious fanatics and the police witnessed by about 500 spectators! The first shot was fired by a 12 year old girl! There was a "high speed pursuit" on the river!
I'm not kidding you, this would make one hell of a movie! A lot more dramatic than the Union Station Massacre.
The articles never come right out and say what religion the "fanatics" belonged to, but their belief that only 144,000 people will make it to Heaven is a big clue.
Seriously, I don't understand why I am just hearing about this now. There is definitely a part for Christopher Walken in this movie.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Great Percussionists
Gene Krupa vs. Buddy Rich
Louie Bellson on Johnny Carson
Rich vs. Bellson
Rich vs. Shaughnessy
Louie Bellson on Johnny Carson
Rich vs. Bellson
Rich vs. Shaughnessy
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Saturday's Outlaw Cigar Event
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